A few days ago I made a Youtube video about my book "Rainy." In the video I explained how the character Rainy was born. Rainy is my alter ego. She represents my anger, my revenge, my wrath, my dark consciousness. And I was telling the viewers how I had taken all my frustration and shaped it into the form of a character.
OK..so there's nothing strange about that right? A lot of writers and artist do that. So what's the big deal? Well let me tell you.
Bare with me because dreams are weird.
But anywho, in the dream I was in a room that looked like a motel room. And there was this brown skinned girl lying on the bed covered up in a white sheet that was pulled all the way up to her neck. She was a little bigger than me. (I only weigh about a 100 pds) But she was sort of short. Like she may have had her legs drawn up to her belly.
She looked like a invalid or a mute who couldn't talk because she never spoke to me. Her lips were pink and her mouth was slightly twisted. I don't remember her having hair or anything as I only kept focusing on her face.
But anyway, I was getting ready to walk in the bathroom to prepare for bed when I noticed the "invalid girl" had slid her head off the pillow.
When I saw her laying on the bed with her head not elevated, I spoke harshly to her pointing my finger at her saying. "Hey, you know you better keep your head raised. Get back on that pillow!"
The "invalid girl" slid back onto the pillow never taking her eyes off me and just kept laying there staring. Then all of a sudden I woke up.
So what the heck was that all about?
Well once I got up, I realized the sick girl was my abdomen. I have been battling "erosive gastritis/gastropathy" for over 2 years now and this little illness has put me through the ringer.
When I raised my voice at the girl and told her to keep her head on the pillow; It was my subconscious talking to me because I have to sleep elevated every night to keep acid from crawling up my throat and also, it takes the pressure off my belly and it hurts less. There have been times in the middle of the night when I have awaken and I'm not elevated. So I yell at myself in my mind and say. "Get back on that pillow!" And Immediately, I will raise myself to an upright position.
I know creepy huh?
So what is the significance of the motel room. Well I think the motel room represents my condition only being temporary. I only have to deal with this issue until my stomach lining heals. This condition is not permanent and I think that is the reason why I was watching over "invalid girl" in a motel room. Because motels are not permanent residencies.
This is the first time I've ever had a dream like this where I've seen my illness. I know most dreams reflect our subconscious or some obstacle we are fighting in our lives but this took the cake.
I can't get the image of that "invalid girl's" face out of my mind. She looked sickly and old. I mean her skin was wrinkled, her eyes looked beady and sort of weary. IDK...creepy!
But yes, ladies and gentlemen. It was a direct reflection of how I see my belly! The human mind is amazing.
Later gators !!!
No comments:
Post a Comment